Chasing My Dreams

“Mommy, can I work for you when I grow up?”

This was one of the greatest compliments I’ve yet to receive and it came from my mini last week while we shopped for fabrics to create some of my products. It’s also one of the reasons I’m leaving my job in corporate America.

Since graduating college, I’ve worked as a teacher, claims adjuster/supervisor, HR generalist, meeting manager/conference planner, banker, bank manager, account manager, business analyst, and operations specialist. I’ve encountered overt racism, being passed over because of my eclectic nature, layoff, boredom and insane confusion as to why I’m hustling hard for others in positions that don’t utilize my strengths and they reap all the benefits. Instead of enduring it anymore while my girls are essentially raised by someone else, I’m chucking my deuces and staying home with my babies to build my own business.

I’m a little sad. Literally a little though. Throughout college and grad school I had the visions of me in some posh corner office doing something important making a lot of money. My reality is a perspective that was shared with me by one of my Spelman sisters: why continue to hustle hard for them when I can do it for myself and make more money doing what I WANT to do? This makes so much sense to me. But letting go of my vision of the sleek business woman was a little difficult.

My definition of success has changed. Not only has becoming a mother made me softer (thugs cry too), but random trips to Italy to go shoe shopping on a whim are no longer part of my definition of success (ok, maybe a little bit). I’m a mom of two little girls I love with all my heart and a wife to the most wonderful man in the world. Making a home for them IS part of my definition. Leaving a legacy for them is also part of this.

I don’t believe in being hypocritical. I always tell mini to chase her dreams and that she can be whatever she wanted to be. I want her to know that even the sky is the limit for her. But children see your actions and that’s what they follow–not your words. I want her to be great and walk with the confidence that she can do anything and everything. So that means I have to set the example. I can’t tell her to dream big when I’m over here settling for a check and complacency.

I’m tired of being basic and ready to be great. Let me be completely honest–I don’t matter at my job. My job doesn’t have any great impact on the greater welfare of the world. I’m not inspiring or helping anyone. It’s basic. I’m over it and ready to accomplish great things. I want to help and inspire and train and do more and be bigger–on my terms.

That’s what The Crunchy Mommy is for me. This is my platform to do what I want to do to help and inspire others. Being able to go full time with this and my family means the world to me. I have so many ideas and want to do so much. By the time my girls are old enough, there will be jobs for them if they want them. For the first time in my life my thinking isn’t “but what if I fail”.