I’ve been battling with weight-loss ever since I could remember. When I was 12, I stopped eating and started popping diet pills so that I could trim down more. As a young athlete, I didn’t understand that my body make up didn’t allow for me to look like some of the other more narrow girls. Hips. Booty. Thighs. No matter what I do, these things will NEVER go away. After I had mini, I’d made it my mission to become a runner with the hopeful byproduct of weight loss. Well, numerous 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathon, triathlon and 60lbs later, I would say success was mine. And then I got pregnant with abc. In my head, I was going to be that pregnant woman who ran and worked out through her pregnancy. Except the amount of pain that my body was in after working out told me that wasn’t my destiny.

Now a year post birth, I’m at my heaviest weight ever, discouraged and wanting to give up. This past year has taught me a lot. Many lessons I don’t even want but that I’ve had to learn nonetheless.

1. You Have to Walk Before You Run
This is seriously the hardest lesson for me. Because I had dedicated so much of my time and life to running and fitness in between kids, I thought I could just jump back into it. Not true. Not for me anyways. I love running. I hate walking. But in developing the endurance for the running, I had to walk. Terri and I would walk and chat 3 miles daily. And not leisurely. We were booking it as we pushed our jogging strollers together. I wanted to be able to just drop abc in the jogging stroller and pick up where I left off but that’s not where I am right now. Instead of being discouraged, I’m now choosing to see this as my starting point–again. It’s hard but it has to be done.

2. People Lie. Mirrors Lie. Pictures Don’t.
My bathroom mirror is literally my worst enemy. When I walk past it, it’s all “Hey girl. Looking good! You don’t even look like you had a baby!!!” And then when someone takes a picture, I’m like, “Who is that brown Baymax looking character there? *gasp* Is that me?!?!” Yes. It goes just like that. And my husband… Bless his heart. He loves me no matter how big or small I am. And I love him for that but accountability is sexier than how I’m looking right now. Sure, when you look in the mirror you should always think the reflection is beautiful but it shouldn’t be lying about your size. Because the only truth teller I can depend on to show me what I’m really looking like is the camera, I’ll be taking monthly pictures–not progress pictures, just pictures showing me where I’m at.

3. The Way You View Your Beauty Should Not Be Determined By Numbers
Yes, I’m still struggling with seeing myself as beautiful now that there’s more of me, but I also know how wrong this is. I judge myself in everything based upon numbers–from how successful I am with my business to how much I should love myself today. This is so wrong. Number ARE NOT who we are. They do not equal the sum total of who I am or my beauty. I have a lot of great about me even if I don’t think my body is one of them right now. Numbers on a scale or size of clothing does not determine the goodness that’s in my heart which is wear my beauty lies. This is a really hard lesson for me for so many reasons but I’m getting this together.

4. Understand Where You Are So You Can Plan How To Get Where You Want To Be
My greatest struggles are consistency and discipline. That’s in addition to the fact that I have no energy. But I think being honest about where I am now mentally, physically, emotionally will help me to get where I’m going. There’s no point in me committing to a workout that does 100 burpees when in truth, I’m struggling to just plank. Just like as much as I would like to return to my 5am runs, I’m just not there yet because of a lot of factors. I can, however, commit to dancing it out with Shaun T in his “Cize” videos. I can also commit to doing the schedule that has been created for me by my gym. With the help of a detox tea I have kicked my sugar cravings which has made not eating cookies (my downfall) waaaaay easier. But knowing where you are is the first step to getting where you want to be.

5. Know When To Ask For Help
I’m sure that you thought I was going to say something like “Weigh-loss is a marathon not a sprint”. No, I don’t believe that. But I do believe that we all need help sometimes and that admitting that doesn’t take anything away from your success. The first time I lost weight, I was miserable and needed that time to get my mind right. Now I’m happy. Now is the time to let the happiness I have drive me to the gym. But sometimes you need help. Right now I’m in a totally different situation. ABC doesn’t sleep through the night. Still nurses in the mornings. Wakes up as soon as I do. This would be cool if it were just she and I but it’s not. If she’s up, then the hubs is up. And mini is up. And then I have not a second to breathe. I digress… Ask for the help that you need. Whether it’s in nutrition, getting your water intake up, or holding you accountable to workouts. Ask for what you need. Right now, I have Periscope holding me accountable to my workouts and my friend Brit helping me get my water intake up.

I’m taking my own advice here in the asking for help as well. Although I do know a lot about health and fitness and how to lose weight–I’ve done it before–I’m at a loss as of what to share since I am not feeling the most positive about my journey. Nonetheless, I have asked for help from friends of mine that have made some drastic transformations with their bodies. I’ll update occasionally on my own journey and then I’ll be back with some fresh content!

What lessons have you learned through your fitness journeys?