There’s an old saying that goes, “Watch out for the woman who cuts her hair. She’s about to change the world.” While I don’t know if what’s on the forefront for me is going to change the world for EVERYONE, I do know that my most recent big chop is symbolic of some life changes in my world. And while I love cutting my hair and making huge statements with it, this will likely be my last time in the immediate future that I do it.
So why did I cut my hair? What changes are coming? What is REALLY going on?
Why I Did Another Big Chop
I love coloring and changing my hair up. It’s one of my signatures that I’ve had since I was a kid. I’ve been coloring my hair since I was about 11–we used Kool-Aid in boiling water to color it! I would spray my hair with peroxide and go out in the sun. Finally, my mom gave in and just let me color it figuring it was safer for my hair.
The first time I did a big chop was the day I graduated high school. My hair was so damaged from the color that it had broken off all around my edges and down my natural part line. Then I did another big chop almost a year later. And I’m sure I did another one in my undergrad but I love using big chops as a way to get fresh energy in my life.
But also: I have 3 other heads of hair to comb, brush and 2 to style. Once I’ve done all that, my arms feel like wet noodles and all I have left in me is put my hair up in a top knot. On the rare occasion I would wear it down, combing it was a struggle because of the damaged ends.
It Was Time To Let It Go
The damage on my ends was one of the physical representations of how I had truly let go of taking care of myself. I’ve gained a lot of weight recently and while yes, I still love myself and my body, the truth is I feel like a foreigner in it. There’s never been a time that I didn’t take great pleasure in donning myself with cute styles, easy makeup and fueling my active body.
I wasn’t FUELING my body with foods. I was eating whenever and whatever was convenient and then not moving. Growing up, I was an athlete. And now? Listen, I get to the top of the stairs carrying BC and I felt like I did when I finished my first half marathon.
This isn’t me. It’s time for a change.
I Want To Embrace Myself In A Different Way
Having three kids, a business and a husband means that what worked for me when I was a single mom doesn’t really apply. I was depressed and miserable when I was a first-time mom. My daughter made me happy but I felt unlovable and running was the only way I could cope. Now I’m living the life I’ve always wanted, am super happy (mostly), and need to find additional motivation.
Starting with my big chop, I’ve been slowly making changes that are small investments into myself. I’ve started making myself eat and fuel my body with delicious and nutritious foods. I’m setting boundaries for myself that are saying no to others and yes to myself. Taking things back to how they once were is forcing me to simplify my life and I’m loving it.
So I cut my hair all the way off in another big chop because it was time to get back to caring for myself distraction-free. It’s symbolic of the small changes I’m making in my world that will create a huge impact. I’m excited to see how this will manifest in the next couple of months, years, and more!
