As mothers, we boldly love our children. If thereās anything or anyone that gets close to harming them, the fierce mama bear comes out and we handle it. As wives, we boldly love our spouses. Iām the first one to say āThereās two things I donāt play about: my man and my kids.ā I, like most women, put our loved ones first when it comes to care. We serve them their meals first. We prepare their favorite dishes. When weāre out shopping, we buy them little trinkets.
But what about us?
As much as I believe in being tireless in caring for my family, I also believe that we should be equally as fervent in taking care of ourselves and not putting our needs on the back burner. It seems once weāre no longer single, we no longer matter to ourselves and this is problematic. How can we take care of others when we arenāt even taken care of?
Be Intentional About Your Care
As moms, weāre familiar with the feeling of guilt. We feel it if we sleep a little later, go to bed a little earlier, make a dinner that not everyone loved, if weāre running late, if we yell–you get it. But hereās the thing, YOU MATTER. As my husband tells me when heās fussing at me for not following my own advice (yes, Iām talking to myself here too), motherās are the nucleus of the family. If weāre down because of sickness or stress, our families arenāt taken care of. And we feel awful because things arenāt taken care of AND because weāre sick, we canāt win right?
Set yourself as a priority. We plan and plan and plan. We have family planners, personal planners, business planners and nowhere in those planners are time slots filled with focuses time for self-care. We feel like we have to be these super moms and we donāt. We donāt have to be the only ones caring for our children. We donāt have to be the only ones cooking dinners. It takes a village to raise a child–and support a mother.
What IS Self-Care?
Self-care is the intentional act of taking care of yourself–doing it on purpose. So that means looking pretty on purpose. Eating healthy on purpose. Exercising on purpose. Failure to practice self-care will lead to physical and mental exhaustion. By paying attention to our own needs, we develop a stronger motivation to take care of others.
But I Donāt Have Time
Make it! Seriously. You donāt have to go on a 7-day Mediterranean cruise. Here are 7 simple things you can do today:
- Have a healthy meal. Donāt eat your kids scraps or stand up eating. Sit down and have that meal while you think good thoughts.
- Take a walk. Maybe not outside right now because itās pretty chilly but do something that you enjoy for 30min and have it be physical.
- Take a long shower. Nice and hot. Donāt rush as youāre in there. Really just enjoy the heat and how it feels to just feel your muscles relax and destress.
- Do your nails. Or have them done. Sometimes it can be really hard to get into the nail shop to have them done but if not, do them yourself! I love how my nails look once theyāre done.
- Get dressed in clothes that make you feel good. After having my youngest, I would squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans feeling like a sausage. THIS was not self-care! Put on something that makes you feel nice.
- Put on a little makeup. Iām not saying that you should do a full out lotus flower facial contour but some blush, mascara, and lipgloss make a world of difference. Thereās nothing like looking pretty!
- Journal. Have the sacred space for you to be totally honest about what youāre thinking or feeling. The amount of solace that comes with an emotional dump is priceless.
I heard an analogy once that said to fill your own proverbial well so that you can fill others with your overflow. Be intentional about filling this well. Take care of yourself the way you would your child. You deserve to be taken care of it and you deserve to be good to yourself. So do it. Ā Be bold about it.