Iāve heard that we spend the last 50 years of our lives recovering from the first 18. OurĀ childhood experiences heavily influence our level of confidence and self-esteem. At the tenderĀ age of 35 (smiles) is when I have given myself permission to feel confident in myself and I amĀ not the only adult who has done this. I spent my childhood always unsure of myself, constantlyĀ concerned what other think of me. I canāt imagine my son going through those same feelings andĀ not doing my part to help him.
Letās help our children get off on the right foot by avoiding damage in their self-esteem ratherĀ than focusing on repairing it down the road.
10 Tips on Building Self-Esteem in Your Child
- Show your children that you love them 100% of the time. Let your child know theyāreĀ adequate exactly as they are. Withholding love because of a poor performance is amongĀ the worst options a parent can choose.
- Give your child the power of choice. Let your child choose their clothes for the day from severalĀ options you provide. They feel a greater level of control when they can make a fewĀ choices for themselves with our guidance. **My daughter walks with her head higher when she has made choices for herself,Ā whether its an activity, clothes or what she eats.
- Help your child to set goals and be successful. Whether the goal is growing a pumpkinĀ or making the tennis team, help them be successful. Show your child that they canĀ influence their life by making a decision and working hard. Focus on the actions theyĀ take to accomplish those goals. **Itās just as important to help them deal with disappointment when things donātĀ work out according to plan.
- Teach your child to do new things. The more capable we become, the more confidenceĀ and self-esteem we possess. Help your child to feel more capable by teaching new skills.
- Compliment and praise your child frequently. We all stand a little taller when we hearĀ something positive about ourselves. Address the things your child does well. Give praiseĀ freely.
- Give your child a few chores. Require your child to do a few age-appropriate choresĀ around the house. This will teach your child discipline and self-soothing skills.
- Avoid shaming your child. Thereās no value in making anyone feel bad aboutĀ themselves. You only create an enemy. Teach your child that their behavior is incorrect.Ā Thatās very different than suggesting that theyāre a bad person.
- Include your child when addressing family issues. Listen to your childās opinion. YouĀ might find that your little one sometimes has the best solutions. At the very least, youāllĀ boost your childās confidence and sense of importance.Ā **In our house, it works well when we discuss smaller activities within a largerĀ project. When we went to Disney World last year, we opened the floor about theĀ activities that can take place while on the trip.
- Set a good example. Take care of your own needs. Be kind and patient with yourself.Ā Treat yourself the way youād like your kids to treat themselves. Show them how to setĀ limits and say ānoā to unreasonable requests. Even if your kids arenāt listening, you canĀ be certain theyāre watching. Show them what confidence and self-esteem look like.
- Give your child attention. When you ignore your child, you send the message that theyĀ donāt matter. Turn off the TV or put down the magazine while your child is trying toĀ speak to you. Make time to pray with your child. If you truly donāt have time, ensureĀ your child understands the situation.
Many child behavioral issues are tied to poor self-image and a lack of self-confidence. GivingĀ your child the self-confidence and self-esteem needed to be happy and successful might be theĀ greatest gift you can provide.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
What are some ways that you instill self-esteem in your children?
